What Is That Thing Attached To Our Butts??

(And why do they laugh at us when we catch it?)

Ok, Kitties. Weve all seen it. That thing attached to our butts. What's the deal? Did you know that there are studies done that says that Kitties are not aware of what their tail is doing? Well, I believe it! Why? Just sit back and I will explain.

You have all, at one time or another I am sure, been stalking the unsuspecting prey, still as a statue. Your eyes dialate, your fur is still, and your padded feet are ever so quiet on the ground. We are built for stealth! Our sleek bodies are anticpating the kill, we sniff, listen intently, watching for our one big chance for lunch, and suddenly, the prey takes flight!

Hey! Whats the deal? We were so ready for that tasty finch or mouse! We could taste it! What gave us away?

How about this: You are going to attack and maim your Human. Your Human has been acting like a dope all week. They have stepped on you, dropped stuff on you, forgotten to give you fresh water yesterday, and they kick you out of your bed! Now, it is time to get even. You see the Human waling towards you oblivious to the danger of the attack...its your big chance! Your Fangs of Death are ready! You have spent all week sharpening your Daggers of Ingratitude! You are ready for the Death Grip and the Kicking of the Back Claws! You are not only ready to pounce, but you are ready to apply the Grip untill it is all over. You crouch down behind a piece of paper that is approximatly 3 " high! It seems like a great cover to you! Your breathing comes faster, and you are almost ready, when you notice they are now walking straight for you calling your name in that wierd voice they have for you. You crouch lower...certain that they can not possibly see you, and then wham! They pick you up and start kissing you! YUCK!

What the heck happened here?

I'll tell you. It's your TAIL. Yup! Thats right. The Tail. It moves of it's own violition. Your senses say "stay still!" "hold it!" "be quiet!" Well. This does not work for the tail eveidently. You freeze, it sways back and forth. Your are purrrfectly still, and it twitches! I rebel! Whats the deal? Is it some sort of wierd Mother Nature Thing to help your prey notice you? That's so bogus! I'll tell ya another thing. It's embarrasing! It can get you in a lot of trouble! Yes it can!

Here is another example: Have you ever been minding your own buisiness, and suddenly there is this thing that is moving, and it is right next to you! Thats right! It is RIGHT THERE! Whoah! How can that possibly be? It wasn't there before! It couldn't have been! Your heightened senses would have detected that right away! Now it is getting closer! Arrrrggh! Whats this! A sneak attack from the enemy? Can't have that! What do you do? You try to catch it. Brilliance at its best I tell you. You actually try to catch the thing. Ooohh...but it is soooo much smarter than you... it moves, and sways just out of your reach! You turn and there it is! You pounce again, and it is just out of reach, again. Now, this is war! This can't possibly be happening! You have spend countless hours chasing things on the floor, rolled up pieces of pare, q-tips, fake Mouses...you have to catch this thing! This is the real thing! Those fake toys were just warm ups! You have to catch this thing! What about your catly duty!

Around and around you go, leaping and snarling getting evr so close... You attack! You catch it! You have won your prey! But, you are dizzy as anything and you feel as if you will throw up! Your poor eyes are going in circles in your head and you release your hard earned catch, only to find that the Human is laughing at you! Thats right! They are holding their stomachs while you strive to keep your own stomach contents down! What are they laughing at? Have you not just made the catch of the day? Have you not defeated the enemy?

Wait, the Human is snorting away, when you see it again....out of the corner of your eye, it's back! The thing! It is mocking you, twitching back and forth, back and forth....You can't take it any more! You attack! You end up circling again and again! You don't care if you are dizzy again! You must catch this thing and claim your prize for your Human! Then they will stop laughing at you and realize what a Mighty Hunter(ess) you are! You finally catch it again! Your poor head is spinning and you clamp down for the Death Grip...and.....OUCH!

Ok, ok. So, it really is attached to you. It does belong to you! You really don't always control it. Your Human thinks this is funny. How do we get even with them? How do we train them not to laugh at us when we are displaying our skills as FeLions? I'll tell you. Next time you feel the need to rid yourself from that hard to digest hairball....make sure you deposit it in their path to the bathroom at 3am. Summer time. Bare feet. heh heh heh!

Kitten K Boodles

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