Bed Time

Have you ever been soooooo close to that mouse? Chasing him and getting him cornered, with your excited paws twitching, claws extended, tail swishing and drooling because you are so close you could just smell him?

What happens? Are you suddenly awakened by an Insensitive Human rolling over on top of you? Or maybe the Sleeping Menace kicks you? Another great dream ruined by the Human.

We must teach Humans that we are not appreciating the fact that they are insensitive to our bedtime needs. We have to have an average of 22.75 hours of slumber to store up energy to do the Crazy Kitty Run through out the house! We also need to conserve because it takes a tremendous amount of energy just to watch the birds outdside the window. They are clueless that we are exhausted after spending 10 whole minutes visciously attacking and shredding that rolled up piece of paper in the corner. That is hard work! Lets see the Human get down on the floor and reach under the baseboard to detroy the enemy! They don't even clean under there half the times.

We can not allow the Human to continue waking us up rudely slamming doors and making obnoxious noises with those plastic things they return from the Human Hunting Place with. Granted, they bring us home food in those noisy plastic thingies, but they should be sensitive to the fact that we are sleeping.

We deserve the bed, too. After all, we are protecting the house for goodness sakes! We have to be well rested to kill those synthetic vermin they give us. We also have to be in tip-top shape to attack tiny Nothings in the corner. And, we have to be wide eyes and bushy tailed to alert our Humans that there may actually be a big gigantic Bug on the wall! We need to be comfortable! We need our rest! Slumber is food for the Kitty soul. There is nothing worse than getting chased off the warm bed that you have made a purfectly rounded fit-for-you spot when they destroy it to lay down themselves. Plus, they take up so much room it isn't funny. They kick you, shove you, roll over on you, for what? We are cuddling up for great reasons! And they mess this up.

Here are some things for you to do to get even with the Humans. Make sure you alone dicatate what time they go to bed. Keep them from enjoying their sleep so they can see what it is like! Wait until they crawl in, tuck themselves in, turn out the light, and do one of, or a combonation of, these things:

To Make The Human Get Out Of Bed

Some Other Things

There are so many things a Kitty can do to get even. The important thing is to make sure the Human knows what it feels like to get interrupted, like they do to us. We must make the world safe for Kitties to sleep in once again. Are your eyes getting tired? Poor Kitty! Get some rest! After all, you just spent 120 seconds just reading this! I think it's time for a nap now.....That vermin is waiting for you.......I can hear him squeaking now......Z Z Z Z Z ZZZZZZZ...

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